It is one of the Ten Commandments of Manhood: Thou shalt urinate upright
For a man, the proper way to pee is standing. From an early age, boys learn: girls sit and we stand. In a young boy’s life, it is a proud moment to achieve this feat for the very first time.
I pee sitting, and with pride. I have been doing so for many years, and I urge my fellow men to do the same. Prove your masculinity elsewhere, not on the toilet.
To release your waters and feel them spray with abandon is so relaxing. To hear the sweet tinkling on shiny white porcelain without fear of soiling yourself or the tiles is pure joy.
Standing has many downsides, and they accumulate over the years. Plumbing becomes leaky, and it is harder to maintain the required water pressure, so accidents are harder to avoid. Still, I believe sitting takes preference over standing at any age. After all, shaking off droplets is a challenge for anyone, especially if you are of modest build.
Once, in a forest and in need, I peed against a tree. The day was sunny, and I could see golden droplets ricocheting off the tree. It was a beautiful sight, but the strange contortions I had to perform to keep my shoes pristine took away some of my appreciation.
A friend who had been a cleaner once told me that under UV light, he could see thousands of tiny droplets of urine light up on the toilet walls, as if gazing at a malodorous Milky Way. Imagine how your trousers would look in UV light!
He had to take care of puddles of piss all the time. After all, not every man is an expert marksman (and probably you are neither). In your quest for masculinity, do you really want to soil every toilet you honor with your visit?
Anyway, all this distasteful talk to convince you of
the advantages of sitting.
Share this piece with your male friends, and let’s start a movement.
BLM, here we come!
I remain unconvinced, I have to say!
Wringing hands over getting tiny flecks of pee on one's jeans/shoes reminds me of someone who told me they can't stand the idea of a bidet because using one would fill the air with aerosolised poop-mist. Or someone who doesn’t like oral sex because pee comes from there.
If anything, I would imagine someone who 'fears soiling themselves' when they pee while standing would probably also be hesitant about sitting on a toilet seat, especially outside of their own home. It doesn't seem worth worrying about such things.
Personally, and sorry if this is too specific, but if the end if my member touches the toilet bowl even once out of every hundred times I sit down to pee, that would be enough to make the experience way less enjoyable than standing to pee. And of course it happens much more often than that. I know I've just been saying people need to be less squeamish, but even I draw the line at smearing my glans on the inside of a unflushed toilet bowl.